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Showing posts from November, 2017
People who are abusive are not always mean to everyone around them. It's the reason that people struggle to leave abusive marriages and relationships. It is the reason people struggle to believe that a friend or coworker could be abusive when someone accuses them because they see the nice side of the abuser. My mother learned her art of narcissism from her mother. I believe that my grandmother learned her art of narcissism from her mother. My father had a violent father and abusive mother. Both of them had abusive parents. But anyone outside of the family who knew any of my family members thought they were something wonderful.  I remember as a child going with my paternal grandfather to the gas station to fill up his pickup. He was so cordial and kind and I remember the guy working at the station telling me I had the nicest grandfather and I was lucky girl. I remember being confused because I had seen how my grandfather treated my mother and father, and it wasn't kind a...
We moved to Boston November of 2004. I was three or four months pregnant with our son and the girls were 3 and 1 year old. The job Ray took would require him to travel two weeks out of a month.  Housing in Boston is not cheap and it can be hard to find a place "close" to work. It took us about a week to find what I felt like would be the perfect place for us to stay. It was a cute little Tudor style townhome tucked away at the back of the complex. $1500 for 1500 sq ft that had been "updated" - new carpet and tile and new paint and it was only 30 years old - that's new for Boston. Steal of deal there so we were excited to move in.  Shortly after moving in Ray was off to travel the states to inspire dealers to sell his company's product.  I don't remember how many days he had been gone but I do remember how loud the music was and that my lights were flickering and the chandelier over my table was shaking. The girls had been asleep but were now...
My mother unfriended me on all forms of social media over a year ago. It was during all the drama of us not paying her rent and asking for the cell phone back that she refused to pay for. I am still connected with several people who are still connected with her. Recently I have noticed that she has been commenting and liking and all kinds of warm fuzzies on social media posts of our mutual friends. My mom has not commented on anything on social media in years (at least not on our mutual friends) - she doesn't comment or like - maybe one or two things a year. I don't have the time or mental energy to try to explain how this behavior is so classic for her or any narcissist. If you want to know how a narcissist operates feel free to google it but this is my mom's way of nonverbally communicating with me. Hi mom. Welcome to my blog. To whomever felt it necessary to reveal to her my blog or my posts please know it wasn't a secret. I have not kept it hidden or hoped...