Life is good. Really good. I've been posting videos which is a huge fear of mine. Every time I do it I feel so sick afterwards. All my anxiety is screaming at me about how people will hate it, my insecurities tell me I'm not good enough, and my fears tell me I am not qualified. But I stand boldly in front of them and tell them to hush. Ain't nobody got time for that ;) Here is the deal though. When I say life is good, it isn't because all my ducks are in a row and everything is going fantastic. I say life is good because that is my outlook I choose to have. Financially things are just eeking along. We make just enough money to exist while working to build my husband's businesses. I am working on certifications that I worry all the time whether or not I will pass the final exams. I homeschool and honestly everyday I worry if I am teaching my kids what they need to know. We are in the process of taking care of an issue with my son. He had the awful experience ...
My father is a pedophile. My grandmother is a pedophile. My grandmother was abused by her father and then she went on to abuse my father who abused me. I've blocked them on most forms of social media but I think they may have found my blog. My grandmother messaged my daughter on Facebox and said she heard from a friend that Aspen had graduated from high school and joined the military. The thing is my grandmother doesn't know anyone that knows my daughter. I have over analyzed how she could have found out and the only thing I could think of was my blog. Which is fine. It makes it quite easy to communicate to them as well as everyone else ;) In the early years of my adult life I felt an obligation to heal my family. I knew I wanted to break a cycle and deep in my brave little heart I believed that if I could love everyone enough I could break all the cycles. I allowed my father back into my life for a short time because I felt like my forgiveness also meant allowing h...