Full Contact Life

Hi! Welcome to the not so fancy blog. I don't keep it up. I only write when I feel like I have something to say. If you came here to read some of my stories or things I have learned from my childhood those posts start at the beginning. I have not labeled my posts because...I'm not that fancy ;) If you have questions please don't hesitate to ask.

Did we as parents really not know that children/teenagers who have unlimited access to their phones at night don't get much sleep? Did we really not know that we needed to set screen time limits? Or did we not WANT to know? For years now, decades, there have been articles and studies published about the dangers of television screen time, and children having TV's in their rooms, and watching too much television, so it isn't hard to recognize then that a telephone screen in a child's room would yield the same harmful effects. It is all well and good that we are realizing the dangers of cell phones in general, but to be honest I believe that parents have intentionally not been aware of some of the specific dangers because of the burden it would place on them. I am a homeschooling mom and I am told frequently by other moms that they could never homeschool because they don't get along with their children. Or that when spending large amounts of time with their childre...

Every crisis in society has a root cause, a beginning, a 'why' if you will. This cell-phone crisis I believe started many many years ago...when we stopped keeping score at little league sports games, when everyone started getting trophies just because we didn't want anyone to be left out. This crisis of children feeling suicidal and parents just handing this powerful devices into hands of children who are not even tall enough to reach the top shelf in the pantry isn't because of the device itself. It's us. The parents. A month ago I wrote a blog post about Aspen and my experience in taking her out of junior high to homeschool her. This was my final paragraph " The inspiration for this post comes from the things I have seen from Collin Kartchner share on his Instagram stories. Society is failing. We as parents are failing our children. We are failing them because we care too much about what the world thinks. We are failing them because we are not intentional...

I have been told countless times over these many years that I am TOO protective of my children, that I need to learn how to trust people and that my past impacts me. Yes!!!! My past most definitely impacts. I am a survivor of hell. I made it out and I know how to protect my children because of what I survived. NO!!! I will not trust more. I will continue to be vigilant when it comes to the safety of my children. I will make judgements about people and situations that I don't like or that seem sketchy to me. And I will make these judgements without proof. I will protect my children WITHOUT proof that any harm may happen. I do not need proof. And I am willing to upset anyone and everyone when it comes to sheltering and protecting my children. I have even cut some family ties because of situations that I know are harmful despite having proof. We as parents are the ONLY ones who can protect our children. NO ONE loves your child more than you. NO ONE will be lo...

* *This is something I shared in a parent screen awareness group for our local community. For those who follow me on Instagram you have seen me share things from Colin Kartchner who is leading out on this informative wave of the dangers of cellphones and internet access for young children. I feel it is important to also share this with all of you because it is an important topic about an important tool. While we are all learning and becoming more aware of the dangers and pitfalls of cellphones and other forms of communication and entertainment let us not forget the most important tool we have as parents: intuition. We do random phone checks on our two oldest who are 15 and 17. A couple of months ago while doing a phone check my mommy senses started tingling. Every thing seemed on the up and up but something was nagging at me. I talked with the 15 year old and asked her why I would be feeling that way. She put on a good act. She was almost convincing, but it was the disp...

If you know me, you know I love therapy and self help books. I love change. I love the challenge of change. So it will be no surprise that when my son was 9 and decided to take on lying and bullying I took him to therapy. The reason I love therapy is because they take what you say and turn it right back around to you for you to think about and to answer. It is called reflective listening. It forces you to critically think about yourself, your life and what you really want. Therapy is hard. Most people avoid therapy because it is hard. But aren't the hard things in life worth the work and the reward? We had only been in Utah for a little over a year so I was nervous about trying to find a good therapist sooner than later. Literally the first person we went to was a perfect fit. I'm not even going to take credit, it was the Lord. I approach therapy very seriously because I want to get the most out of it I can in the short amount of time we get, so I wrote down the behav...

In the fall of 2014 I took my oldest daughter Aspen out of junior high. We had homeschooled since she was knee high to a grasshopper. When we moved to Utah all my kids wanted to try public school. As I prayed about it I felt like it wasn't wrong, but I didn't feel this push to do it. I felt like it was something we could try, I didn't feel a sense of permanency with it. Aspen started 8th grade and the other people went to the elementary. The first month went okay. In the second month Alora (who was in 6th grade at the time) came home and a few weeks later the dude and then a few weeks later Alexa. It wasn't any one thing, they all just preferred homeschooling. Aspen stayed in junior high for the rest of her 8th grade year. I was not comfortable completely with it but I did not feel strongly to take her out. (I believe that as a mother I must look to God in all things especially those regarding my children. I do not presume to know anything, I look to him in thought ...

The sky is crying this morning. Some call it rain. I have personally always felt like the water falling from the sky was a representation of a release of some sort. The sky like us all soaks up life all day everyday and then it must release the excess. It must cry and let the unnecessary go. As humans for some reason we see crying as a weakness, or at least something too vulnerable to do in front of others. It is something I have always struggled with. I am not sure if it is because as a child I was always told to stop crying, or if it is because society in general is not supportive of that level of vulnerability. I can cry alone but I definitely put on a strong face for others. Would you be surprised to know that I cry everyday? Every morning when I wake up I cry. My body hurts every single day and there is nothing I can do about it. I cry midday when again my body tells me it can go no further and as a mother of 8 I desperately need it to. I cry at night because I know that I mus...

Ray lost his job in 2008. He joined the military a year later because no one was hiring middle management and it is what we felt was the direction the Lord would have us take. Getting a job was not happening, he was overqualified for Wal-Mart, Home Depot and especially and fast food places. Despite all his best efforts a job would not happen until 2012 when he came home from Iraq. As per usual in our life people felt it necessary to enlighten us about our situation. We were told that we weren't praying enough, the right way or for the right thing. They would tell us we needed to fast more, or go to the temple more, or that maybe we were punished for our sins.  We had a newly called Bishop tell us that he was coming up with an exit strategy and he was going to show us how to get a job because obviously we were not doing it right. He became Bishop after Ray returned from basic training in 2009 and we would still not have a job a year and a half later when Ray would leave for ...

When I left for college I was a shattered child. I was a shell of person. Even though I was 18 too much had happened in my early life and then throughout my childhood, that left me immature and broken. I barely survived that year. My dad would call to tell me how he was going to kill my mother or me or about his recent sexual encounter. I would call my mom occasionally hoping that she would finally tell me she loved me, only to be told how much she hated me and how horrible of a child I was. I went to school. Kind of. I made some friends but they were not good friends. I got a job. I was depressed though. Depressed. Alone. Hurting. Lost. So I drank. I drank to get drunk. I drank to get numb. I had lived in an environment that was so abusive and controlling and strict that when I moved 1500 miles away it was like a caged animal finally being set free. There were too many choices, too much noise, too much sadness, too much ache with in my mind that I had no self regulators. Ins...

In June of 2013 Arwyn fell (a whole two feet - maybe) and ruptured an unknown aneurysmal bone cyst. She had to be life flighted to Primary Children's hospital where she would undergo emergency life saving surgery. She ultimately would have a piece of her skull removed. We were told to expect the worst because the location of the cyst was at the base of her skull right next to the brainstem. She lived. Not only did she live but she thrived. We were told that she may need to be in the hospital for 5-7 days. She was there for 3. No negative implications. You would never know what happened to her if you didn't know the story personally. She survived but I was a mess. My anxiety was so intense. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. All I could do was watch her. This wasn't the first time I had almost lost a baby. Ansli had spent 4 weeks in NICU because her heart would stop beating. I would watch as they would give her little body what felt like hours but really it was ju...