**This is something I shared in a parent screen awareness group for our local community. For those who follow me on Instagram you have seen me share things from Colin Kartchner who is leading out on this informative wave of the dangers of cellphones and internet access for young children. I feel it is important to also share this with all of you because it is an important topic about an important tool.

While we are all learning and becoming more aware of the dangers and pitfalls of cellphones and other forms of communication and entertainment let us not forget the most important tool we have as parents: intuition.

We do random phone checks on our two oldest who are 15 and 17. A couple of months ago while doing a phone check my mommy senses started tingling. Every thing seemed on the up and up but something was nagging at me. I talked with the 15 year old and asked her why I would be feeling that way. She put on a good act. She was almost convincing, but it was the display of convincing that heightened my feeling that something was off.

Her phone is locked down. Only text and calls. We have a rule that they are not to delete texts, and failure to comply will result in the loss of their phone.

The 15 year old and I sat in our living room for quite sometime in silence. I knew something was off but she held to her line that there was nothing to worry about.

I kept her phone and told her when she was ready to talk to me about whatever was going on then I would be happy to return the phone.

Sure enough the next day she came to me crying saying that she had been texting a boy and she didn't want me to know about it.

Surprise, we have another rule, no texting boys. At all. If they need to talk they can call and any phone calls received or made must be in the company of some family member old enough to understand the conversation. There is just too much temptation there. We have the same rule with their girl friends, texting can happen for short lines of communication about times, dates and locations. All other conversations need to happen in person or through a phone call. Our kids need to communicate through voice because it helps them develop emotionally and learn how to properly communicate and listen.

The 15 year old did lose her phone for a month. We discussed with her that it isn't about not texting a boy. First and foremost she lied and hid it. Second, we reinforced that we are raising her to learn how to communicate properly and that it is essential for healthy relationships, work, sports, and especially in marriage and raising children. Also, we do tell our children to be aware of relationships that are hinged on texting. She shared with us that this kid is "shy" and that he prefers texting. Well, he can prefer a different girl. Boys and girls who cannot communicate through phone calls or face to face interaction do not have healthy communication skills and I don't want my children held hostage by their inability to communicate.

I understand the element of anxiety. We as adults all had to navigate that world of communicating with others face to face and through phone calls and we made it. We graduated. We went to college or got jobs and got married and had kids all without texting and hiding behind our insecurities.

Back to the topic of intuition. It is critical that we as parents learn how to listen to our gut. There are not enough internet blockers, family home evening lessons and boundaries to prevent our children from making mistakes. We must listen to that part of us that says something isn't right. We must be willing to venture into something we have no proof of to shed light on the truth. This isn't the first time my gut has said something was awry. I have to rely on my gut, on my intuition daily because no one else is looking out for my kids.

Our children need us to be vigilant not just in setting boundaries, or taking away apps and phones or tablets. They need us to be vigilant in following through on our feelings. Yes they will fight back, that's a good thing! We want them to challenge us, because then we know they are paying attention, they are aware, and we take those moments to teach them and to help them develop their "why". "Why" they will choose the right. "why" they will follow our rules. And "why" they will continue to make good choices on their own as they leave us and go on to live their lives as young adults.

Go. Fight. Win.