Full Contact Life

I have been bothered my "Dear Society" post. Not that the post in general isn't exactly what I wanted to say, it is the examples I used that have bothered me. I used examples of physical abuse because those were the first that came to me as I was writing. Why don't women say anything when the abuse first happens? Because they can't even believe it happened. The depth of shock is not something that can not fully be put into words. When the abuse is happening the only thing going through a victim's mind is "this isn't happening - this isn't happening". You don't want to think about it. You don't want to talk about it. You don't want to remember it. And then it happens again. Not for everyone - but for those who are abused by family members or close friends - or even a spouse or a boyfriend, it will probably happen again and the victims are again working hard to forget it even happened or is happening. Yes, a spouse or a ...

When lived in northern Utah there was a park just around the corner from our home. As we were pulling up one evening, I could see that a girl was sitting on the picnic table with her pants unzipped and opened, and her shirt pulled up over her bra. No one else was at the park - it was windy and cold - we were the only crazy people willing to brave it I guess that day. Once she made eye contact with me she jumped off the table and was trying to dress herself quickly. I jumped out of the car and ran over to her before she could get on her bike and ride away. I introduced myself and tried to be casual in my approach. I asked if she lived near by and other easy 'casual' questions. I eventually asked her how old she was and what ward she was in (congregation of Mormon church). I asked her if she was meeting someone at the park - she quickly denied that and pretty much shut down. I knew enough to call the police so I told her to have a nice evening and we would see her later. We d...

Dear Society, You are a fickle bunch aren’t ya? You want these women to name names and give details because you think they are hiding behind their story. But when they do name names and give details you are ruthless in how you dismiss them and you are vicious in tearing down the very person who finally found the courage to say something. You complain because you say that this hashtag movement is doing nothing. Nothing for who? You? Why is this even about you? This never was about you. It’s about those who have been and are victims of sexual abuse, assault and harassment. The ones you keep trying to silence with the narcissistic hoops you want them to jump through. You don’t really want names. You just want something else to complain about. You don’t want details. You just want a story to tear apart. Society, you don’t want to know truth. You never have. And that is why Weinstein and every monster like him out there can exist. Victims do not come forward...

It was September 25 th 1991. I will never forget the day. It was that morning that I was fighting mad. I was done being sexually abused and I was going to do something about it or at least do everything I could do at the ripe at age of 14.  I tried to tell my mother but she refused to believe it. I have already shared her threats and comments about the whole matter in earlier posts. Needless to say she didn’t respond well. She wasn’t loving or compassionate. She was mean and hateful. (Which to be honest is really who is she was all the time unless someone was watching) She sent me to school with a warning that I wasn’t to tell anyone what happened. Being the incredibly stubborn and strong willed person that I am I disobeyed her with my first step into my high school that morning. I don’t remember whom I told first. I only remember feeling compelled to tell as many people as I could. I had to find safety and safety was finding someone who would listen and help me s...

To you who don’t want to say “me too”, I am sorry you don’t feel like you can share what you have been through. You may tell me that it isn’t why you don’t share. You may tell me you don’t need to share because you got over it long ago or it isn’t that big of a deal or maybe that you just don’t share personal things on the internet and you think it's weird that so many women would put it out there like anyone cared. I get it. I get all of it. So if you don’t want to share, why are you making such a big deal out of those of us who are? If you have gotten over it then why is this getting under your skin and causing such an irritation? If this “me too” movement is bothering you, I respectfully challenge your belief that you have gotten over what happened to you and that it isn’t that big of a deal. Why does it bother you to have so many women ban together and say “me too”? I was told by someone that they felt like most of the posts were false. Okay. And. ...

Me too. So I saw a post tonight where someone was mentioning how dumb they thought this “me too” thing was. Even now as I type I am trying to take some deep breathes…. I like that women are saying “me too”. I like that the Internet is flooded with “me too” and I really don’t care who is bothered by it. 1 in 5 women or girls are sexually assaulted all day every single day. And the saddest part isn’t just the abuse it is the complete lack of care, concern and compassion from other women. I saw a comment on the post I mentioned above that said “who hasn’t”. Really?!?!?! That’s your response to the very disturbing and very real statistics of sexual assault and abuse. “Who hasn’t” implies that somehow you are stronger because you don’t need to report or talk about what happened to you or someone you love. As women we need this movement. We need to be more vocal about what has happened and is happening and how emotionally damaging it is. Harassment is...