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To you who don’t want to say “me too”,

I am sorry you don’t feel like you can share what you have been through.

You may tell me that it isn’t why you don’t share. You may tell me you don’t need to share because you got over it long ago or it isn’t that big of a deal or maybe that you just don’t share personal things on the internet and you think it's weird that so many women would put it out there like anyone cared.

I get it. I get all of it.

So if you don’t want to share, why are you making such a big deal out of those of us who are? If you have gotten over it then why is this getting under your skin and causing such an irritation?

If this “me too” movement is bothering you, I respectfully challenge your belief that you have gotten over what happened to you and that it isn’t that big of a deal.

Why does it bother you to have so many women ban together and say “me too”?

I was told by someone that they felt like most of the posts were false. Okay. And.

How does one false statement change the legitimacy of another? And are these women on trial?  Are we trying to figure out who is telling the truth and who isn’t or are many of the women just trying to shed light on a subject that too many people are uncomfortable with?

My sister used to tell me how embarrassed she was that I would talk so openly about what happened to us as children. I probably still embarrass her.

Why is it so embarrassing? Why are we as women so ashamed to share the horrible things that have happened to us? And yet we call it bravery when we keep it to ourselves. Like some how we are stronger than those who share.

I know the answer.

Do you?

Shame.

It’s the same shame that has kept you from reporting what happened. It’s the shame that binds anyone who has been abused in any capacity.

Guilt.

Guilt that made you question if you did something to deserve the abuse. Guilt that made you question if you made it happen.

Fear.

Fear that if you speak up someone will doubt you – question you – interrogate you – not believe you….


I am sorry that you are unable to share. I hope one day that you find your voice. I hope one day you have the courage to heal. Until that day comes please stop punishing the women who are speaking up. Stop telling them that it isn’t a big deal. Stop minimizing them just because you are minimizing yourself. Let them speak – let them heal – otherwise to try to silence them is the same as what an abuser would do.

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