Two stories - both happened in the same year.
Ansli was born 6 weeks early in January of 2011. She would spend a month in NICU, and for two of those weeks Ray was gone for some military something or other in preparation for his deployment. A couple of days after he got home Ansli was able to come home on an apnea monitor and oxygen. Two weeks later Ray would leave again for another school or training for the Army but this time he would be gone for a month. During that time Ansli contracted RSV (that's a story all its own) and would have to be admitted to the hospital.
The neighborhood where we lived was already a dramatic fire storm, but for some reason during this time most of it was aimed at me. As I sat in the hospital my ecclesiastical leader (Bishop) called me to tell me that I was burden to the congregation (ward/neighborhood) and that they would be unable to help me now or and when my husband was officially deployed. Just before that a neighbor who I considered to be a friend called to inform me of all the reasons people in our neighborhood didn't like me and why they wouldn't help me while I was in the hospital or when Ray was deployed.
My neighbors decided to spread the rumor that the RSV my newborn had was contagious and that since she had it all of my children did and if their children were around my children they would end up hospitalized as well. (RSV is a cold in a baby - Ansli got it from a sick cousin - that's the long story part - not her siblings) So no one would stay with my 5 other children while I was away at the hospital with my very sick newborn.
Ray, who was on the other side of the country, called his friend Jake South and told him what was going on. While I sat in a hospital room watching my baby's back get whacked to help her breathe behind the scenes Jake's wife Mindy was gathering my people. They lived 20 plus minutes away from us. Because she didn't have room in her car for all of my kids and hers she had her mom drive a second car to help get them back to her house.
They took our 5 kids in on a moments notice without knowing an end date.
Jake and Mindy are what we affectionately refer to as military family.
About two weeks before Ray was deployed we both decided that moving to his parents house in Tennessee would be the best thing for the kids and I.
We had just moved into the rental house we were in so we would need to break our contract.
The owners did not take kindly to our breaking of said contract and in fact were quite hostile about it. They threatened to sue and blah blah blah.
Military families are protected by what is called the SCRA. (Service members Civil Relief Act) It protects military members and their families. We contacted JAG to let them know what was going on. JAG contacted them and I wish I could say that they stopped harassing us.
Ray deployed on July 5 2011. A couple of days prior to his deployment our landlord contacted us and told us that they would need to show the house. I emailed them back letting them know that Ray left on that day and I wouldn't be up to fixing up a house that day but I could do it the next day.
They replied that as the landlord they had the right to into the home whenever they wanted and that they would be coming with their prospect on that day.
Ray contacted Jake again and he talked to his 1st Sgt. who also happened to be a neighbor to let them know what was happening. Yes, we also contacted JAG. But these people - meaning our landlord - didn't take a hint or understand the law.
The 'scheduled' showing was to be the afternoon of the 5th. Jake was there about an hour early. He flat out told me they would not cross that threshold. Chris Tyler, Ray's 1st Sgt at the time was 'posted' outside. They were not going to let this man bully our family that day.
Our landlord had decided to call the Sheriff's department to make sure I would let him in. Like I said, he didn't understand the laws that protect me as well.
I watched out an upstairs bedroom window as the Sheriff pulled up and Chris stepped out to talk to him. At the same time a large black pickup pulled up - if a truck can be pretty then this was a pretty truck - and well dressed man stepped out and started talking to Chris and the Sheriff.
The conversation was obviously heated. The well dressed man got in his truck and drove away, Chris came in to talk to us and the Sheriff waited to tell our landlord the good news about how he wouldn't be showing the house today and how he needed to have a lot more respect for those that serve.
Jake was a little sad that he wouldn't be putting anyone in a choke hold that night ;) and Chris shared with us the conversation that he had.
First of all the Sheriff wasn't going to let the landlord kick my door down. Chris told him that my husband had just deployed that day and how I had asked if the landlord could come the next day. The Sheriff shared that the landlord actually couldn't force his way in, unless he had proof of destruction of property if I didn't want him to come in he couldn't go in.
The well-dressed man was the one who was coming to look at the property and was ready to buy it but upon finding out how the landlord had been so disrespectful to a military family said he could find another investment property somewhere else.
There was of course drama even after moving from the landlord. They spent our deposit (which is illegal) on a fence for their personal home, so we never got the deposit back.
That year was long and hard, but it was made easier because of our military family. There are some things that are annoying when it comes to being in the military, but I have never experienced anything like the bond of military family.
I always know whenever Ray has to leave for the Army that anyone of our friends who serve or who have served that they would be there for me and the kids in a moments notice. When he is gone I am not truly alone because our family is coast to coast and they are loyal. That something I will always treasure and feel deep gratitude for.
Ansli was born 6 weeks early in January of 2011. She would spend a month in NICU, and for two of those weeks Ray was gone for some military something or other in preparation for his deployment. A couple of days after he got home Ansli was able to come home on an apnea monitor and oxygen. Two weeks later Ray would leave again for another school or training for the Army but this time he would be gone for a month. During that time Ansli contracted RSV (that's a story all its own) and would have to be admitted to the hospital.
The neighborhood where we lived was already a dramatic fire storm, but for some reason during this time most of it was aimed at me. As I sat in the hospital my ecclesiastical leader (Bishop) called me to tell me that I was burden to the congregation (ward/neighborhood) and that they would be unable to help me now or and when my husband was officially deployed. Just before that a neighbor who I considered to be a friend called to inform me of all the reasons people in our neighborhood didn't like me and why they wouldn't help me while I was in the hospital or when Ray was deployed.
My neighbors decided to spread the rumor that the RSV my newborn had was contagious and that since she had it all of my children did and if their children were around my children they would end up hospitalized as well. (RSV is a cold in a baby - Ansli got it from a sick cousin - that's the long story part - not her siblings) So no one would stay with my 5 other children while I was away at the hospital with my very sick newborn.
Ray, who was on the other side of the country, called his friend Jake South and told him what was going on. While I sat in a hospital room watching my baby's back get whacked to help her breathe behind the scenes Jake's wife Mindy was gathering my people. They lived 20 plus minutes away from us. Because she didn't have room in her car for all of my kids and hers she had her mom drive a second car to help get them back to her house.
They took our 5 kids in on a moments notice without knowing an end date.
Jake and Mindy are what we affectionately refer to as military family.
About two weeks before Ray was deployed we both decided that moving to his parents house in Tennessee would be the best thing for the kids and I.
We had just moved into the rental house we were in so we would need to break our contract.
The owners did not take kindly to our breaking of said contract and in fact were quite hostile about it. They threatened to sue and blah blah blah.
Military families are protected by what is called the SCRA. (Service members Civil Relief Act) It protects military members and their families. We contacted JAG to let them know what was going on. JAG contacted them and I wish I could say that they stopped harassing us.
Ray deployed on July 5 2011. A couple of days prior to his deployment our landlord contacted us and told us that they would need to show the house. I emailed them back letting them know that Ray left on that day and I wouldn't be up to fixing up a house that day but I could do it the next day.
They replied that as the landlord they had the right to into the home whenever they wanted and that they would be coming with their prospect on that day.
Ray contacted Jake again and he talked to his 1st Sgt. who also happened to be a neighbor to let them know what was happening. Yes, we also contacted JAG. But these people - meaning our landlord - didn't take a hint or understand the law.
The 'scheduled' showing was to be the afternoon of the 5th. Jake was there about an hour early. He flat out told me they would not cross that threshold. Chris Tyler, Ray's 1st Sgt at the time was 'posted' outside. They were not going to let this man bully our family that day.
Our landlord had decided to call the Sheriff's department to make sure I would let him in. Like I said, he didn't understand the laws that protect me as well.
I watched out an upstairs bedroom window as the Sheriff pulled up and Chris stepped out to talk to him. At the same time a large black pickup pulled up - if a truck can be pretty then this was a pretty truck - and well dressed man stepped out and started talking to Chris and the Sheriff.
The conversation was obviously heated. The well dressed man got in his truck and drove away, Chris came in to talk to us and the Sheriff waited to tell our landlord the good news about how he wouldn't be showing the house today and how he needed to have a lot more respect for those that serve.
Jake was a little sad that he wouldn't be putting anyone in a choke hold that night ;) and Chris shared with us the conversation that he had.
First of all the Sheriff wasn't going to let the landlord kick my door down. Chris told him that my husband had just deployed that day and how I had asked if the landlord could come the next day. The Sheriff shared that the landlord actually couldn't force his way in, unless he had proof of destruction of property if I didn't want him to come in he couldn't go in.
The well-dressed man was the one who was coming to look at the property and was ready to buy it but upon finding out how the landlord had been so disrespectful to a military family said he could find another investment property somewhere else.
There was of course drama even after moving from the landlord. They spent our deposit (which is illegal) on a fence for their personal home, so we never got the deposit back.
That year was long and hard, but it was made easier because of our military family. There are some things that are annoying when it comes to being in the military, but I have never experienced anything like the bond of military family.
I always know whenever Ray has to leave for the Army that anyone of our friends who serve or who have served that they would be there for me and the kids in a moments notice. When he is gone I am not truly alone because our family is coast to coast and they are loyal. That something I will always treasure and feel deep gratitude for.
Military family for the win!
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